How to become a calm person
I’ve never been happy.
Relaxation exercises really made me nervous because I wassacrificing myself in order to comply and do them right.
If people advise you to be cool, it’s like being asked to smile when a bomb in your life has just gone off.
It just doesn’t feel right.
If you’ve just been assaulted by bad news, or are a chronic worrier, how should you be calm , cool, gathered and breathed? Breathing just never seemed to me to be enough to turn stress into calmness.
Much like a wisp of air attempting to blow a massive flame out.
I never thought I ‘d be the responding person to this question for myself or someone else.
But when everything had blindsided me a few years ago, none of the normal treatments helped.
Concerned that maybe my condition was worse than some of the people I’m helping, I realized I needed to sort this out. I just had to calm down. There had been no choice.
First of all, to simply be a calm person can be an easier target than to calm down in a single crisis.
That’s because, over time, it requires incremental measures rather than creating a panicky eyed catastrophe.
If you don’t have any previous experience moving your mind to a serene place it might feel impossible to gather.
Beforehand building the skill helps when difficulty hits.
Small steps bring a big one … I was going to say blow, but l is going to say remedy.
Over time practice the new habit until it is a part of you.
“We are what we do again and again. Excellence is not an act, then, but a habit. “-Aristotle.
Also if you can spare just five minutes, use it as a gathered soul to stay in contact with your self.
The idea is not to lose the link to the calm self that is being produced however weak or loose it may be.
Keep up the commitment and the confidence that you’re going to become this.
I have to tell you that I was mad and that I was calm, and that calm is stronger.
- Remember that it’s not you.
Okay sometimes it is, but if you are to blame, I’ll say you’ve already worked that out.
When you read Psychology Today, you will be mentally aware, and be able to take responsibility for your problems.
There is also a sick person in a fight, and a not-sick person.
When the ill person is sadistic and hallucinations shooting through you (this is called projection) you have to give them back this fear. Do not be investing in making it yours.
Rather, by detaching, giving the mess back, so that they can deal with it and change.
As one client said to a devilish relationship, “For your unwanted characteristics, I can no longer be the receptacle.”
Suckered in a regressive fight, and let the other’s baseness invade you.
Strategies for Mind About Matter
- Get right in the environment.
A coffee? Know the setting on deceleration. If you can’t get there now, then plan ahead later. To imagine, sketch, collage and write about this place keeps it real and open. Take a park-walk. Hide Ten Mindful Minutes in a quiet corner (Goldie Hawn wrote a wonderful book under that name).
- Deal with the gossip.
I don’t giggle. Expulsion of alien and degrading things is freeing. A clean room is next to calmness, if not above godliness. Then again, delights are often disordered. Compare disarray to clear spaces and see how you feel,
but rid yourself of the bits that make you wince.
- I once heard somebody say speed is a form of aggression.
For the self I ‘d say. Quick speed may be a must, but when you are struggling to get your contact lenses on, think about how you feel when someone bangs at your door. Your heart is racing, your hands are shaking, and your mind is turning mean. To live Over time any moment of stress will take a toll.
Could make you sick.
Honor Slow is beautiful when you can, as I once saw on one button. Perhaps on Sunday, staying in pyjamas.
Someone told me the whole family had done this one day spontaneously and it was better than the last holiday.
- Think; time is running out.
Poet T.S. Eliot wrote, “There’s going to be time indeed …” Ok, you’ve figured out what you want to do and who you ‘re. Now it looks more like 30 instead of having 80 years ahead.
You panic, because you don’t think you have enough time.
You are. There is still time to sit in a mind state. Just calmly, step by step, little by little, you work at what you enjoy every day, even if it’s just ten minutes. Don’t let your passions go of the kite string, because you don’t think you have time. It’s the constant link that holds you afloat and calm to something transcendent.
(It’s different if you just don’t have a lot of time to live. Is a heart-rending affair).
- Shake it to calm down. If you’re an intense person, type-A person, then go gusto for it.
To sweat yourself out and to know that you have done everything is one road to a peaceful society.
Stay settled on loose ends, too. Everything is going to get done because you are a reliable individual.
- Is there something that you are not meant to do?
Community service, a class, a connection, a type of art?
To avoid chronic agitation live in your Natural-Inclination Zone. Not overinvest in drainage Interactions whether involving narcissistic colleagues, the wrong job or threatening neighbors to sue.
It’s best to put your energy on people and projects that speak to your heart and relax your mind.