how to control your emotions
Learning how to control your emotion is a worthwhile pursuit. In as much as it is suitable for emotions to be expressed freely and abundantly, expressing negative feelings and sometimes even positive emotions at the wrong time can easily hurt you and those around you.
Emotions are an essential part of our everyday lives. We need to express them. But the degree and timing of expression are very important. Jumping up and shouting for joy because of an excellent performance by your favourite team is a good expression of emotion. While the timing is right and you should be joyful, the same or even as much as a little laugh over a funny text in a tense board meeting can easily make others feel dissatisfied with you.
While emotions are important and should be let out as much as possible, you must learn how to control them so that they are not overly expressed in ways that may cause you to harm or cost your reputation.
How to control your emotions
Understand you can control your emotions
The first step to controlling your emotions is the awareness that you are in control of them and that they are not out of your reach.
For you to control your emotions successfully, you need to have the belief that you are first of all above your them. Those things you are above are the things you can control. If you feel your emotions are in charge and not you, then every other effort to control them will be futile.
As such, controlling your emotions should begin with an understanding of who is actually in charge or control – and that’s you!
Understand the why of it
One of the difficulties of emotions is the extent to which a particular feeling ought to be expressed; when it is too much, just right or too little.
The key to understanding the extent an emotion should be expressed to is the gain/loss such emotions are capable of incurring when expressed over certain limits. Do you need to apologize or feel bad after reacting to a provocation? If yes, then you are probably overly expressing the negative emotion.
To control your emotions, you’ll need to understand when you are overreacting. It’ll often help if you can go over previous incidents where you feel you may have exaggerated. Ponder the whys of it and how you may have done or said something different and how that may have changed the course of actions during the provocation.
One of the benefits of going over your previous emotional outburst is that it helps you learn from your past mistakes as well as equip you mentally on how to tackle similar issues if they ever arise again in future.
Discover when you are overreacting
When in the heat of the moment, it becomes very easy to get carried away with our emotions and as such, flare up quickly.
It’ll often help if you can take a few moments to find out if you are overreacting in the situations or not. This needs a great deal of conscious effort and will to hold back and ponder on the cause of the rage and extent of the damage your words or actions can cause.
Often when you are not sure of the next course of actions to take or are filling up with rage, you may want to take a step back, hold up your words or take a walk outside. But if you must stay and say something, it will help greatly, if you can take a deep breath and count up to three before taking any action or saying something to your opponent.
Since you are in charge of your emotions, you can dictate the extent you can act on them when they need to be express.